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The Best Man: My duties, roles and responsibilities

The best man, the better man. Who is he? Chosen by the groom the best man is traditionally his closest friend or Brother. This is an important role to play, its not just about embarrassing the groom! So what does a maid of honour actually do? We will try to break it down for you:

Before the Wedding day:

The Best man’s responsibilities begin long before the wedding day and you’ll be expected to carry out the following duties:

  • The Best man discusses the wedding plans with the bride, groom and chief bridesmaid.
  • The best man helps to choose the ushers and explain their duties to them.
  • The best man organises the stag party which I suggest should include a Personalised Stag treasure hunt for the daytime.
  • Compile a list of close family members who should have special seating arrangements at the ceremony and share the information with the ushers.
  • Visit the ceremony and the reception venues with the bride and groom to check on timings, parking arrangements etc.
  • Prepare your best man’s speech for the reception.

Other duties that will need to be carried out at least a week before the big day:

  • Check the groom has all the necessary documents for the ceremony and the honeymoon.
  • Double-check the Bride and Groom’s passports and visas.
  • Attend the wedding rehearsal.
  • Liase with the ushers on the final arrangements.
  • Check for road works, diversions and processions etc taking place on the wedding day that may affect timings or the route.
  • Arrange transport for the groom and yourself to ceremony.
  • Arrange transport to and from the reception.
  • Arrange the going away car for the bride and groom from the reception if required.
  • Make a note of details and availability of emergency taxi companies.
  • Finalise your speech.
  • Have your hair cut.
  • Collect any hired clothing and accessories.
  • Wash your car if you are using it for the drive to the ceremony.
  • Organise with the Chief Bridesmaid the decorations for the going away car.

On the Wedding day:

On the wedding day the best mans duties are divided into three parts – those he needs to do on the morning of the wedding day before the ceremony takes place, those tasks he needs to do once the ceremony kicks off, and the tasks he needs to do at the reception. We have split theses down for you below:

1) Before the wedding ceremony:

There’s a full list of duties to be carried out on the day of the wedding before the ceremony, some of the duties include:

  • Check final arrangements for the ushers, buttonholes, order of service sheets and rings.
  • Collect telegrams, cards and emails to be read at the reception.
  • Keep the rings safe until the required time in the service.
  • Help the groom get ready (so be ready before him).
  • Ensure the groom gets to the church on time, which we advise is at least 20 minutes before the ceremony is due to start.
2) During the Wedding ceremony:

There is plenty to do during the ceremony, least of all you are responsible for the all important holding the rings, some of your other duties are:

  • Check on the ushers.
  • Sit on the right hand front pew with the groom.
  • Witness the signing of the register, if required.
  • Ensure all fees are paid to the church or registrar.
  • Escort the chief bridesmaid out of the church (she should be on your left).
  • Assist the photographer in organising the guests for the photographs.
  • Ensure everyone has transportation to the reception venue.
3) The Wedding reception:

After the wedding itself, it’s up to you to ensure that the rest of the day does off without any issues. Whilst this responsibility can’t lie entirely with you as the best man, you can help by performing the following duties:

  • Stand in the receiving line and greet the guests.
  • Announce the speeches and cake cutting, if there is no Master of Ceremonies or Toastmaster.
  • Read any cards, emails and telegrams.
  • Give the third and final speech and reply on behalf of the bridesmaids.
  • Dance with the chief bridesmaid once the bride and groom have completed their first dance.
  • Decorate the going away car with the Chief Bridesmaid.
  • Put any luggage required in the going away car.
  • Make sure the bride and groom go and change on time and announce to the guests that they are about to depart.
  • Take charge of the groom’s wedding clothes, if required.
  • After the wedding ensure the wedding presents are safely stored.
  • Return any hired clothing and accessories on behalf of the groom so that he canenjoy his honeymoon to peace knowing that everything is sorted.

Stressing about the Speech…

Understandably the most worrying duty for the best man is the speeches on the wedding day. You’ll be expected to stand in front of a large crowd of people (many of whom you probably know) and more than likely there will be a video camera pointing at you. This is your Best friend/Brother’s big day and you want to impress him, his friends and family and his Bride and her friends and family I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if you were a little nervous. Well don’t be because the good thing about it all is that the audience are on your side, they really want to laugh, (at your jokes not at you) and even if your speech is not that funny you can be assured that they will laugh even at the weakest of jokes.